Wednesday, June 19, 2013
One week report
One week in, and very little to report. My procrastination is still in full force. I got 2 of the 168 items done this past week. I have plenty of excuses, but really only 1 reason - procrastination. This week will be better. More later.
Friday, June 14, 2013
The second step on my journey is to create a new eating plan. 2 weeks will take me through most of my typical plans. Most of the things in my life happen within any random 2 week period of time. Work, plans with family, plans with friends, and so on. 2 weeks will also give me time to do a little research and try out some recipes, despite the too-many evenings I’m not home.
The question remains – why create a new eating plan? First and foremost, because both my husband and my doctor suggest that I may be depressed. There are many treatments and suggestions for depression (depending on the severity). The at-home with no-professionals treatments include exercise, sunlight, and a change in eating habits. Since part of the reason for going through this 31 week journey is to improve my depression so I do not need to go to therapy, treating it is one of my main concerns.
Secondly, I am currently fatter than I have ever been in my life, and I’m sick of it. My husband thinks I look amazing and very sexy, and I am willing to be persuaded of such. But I’m tired more often than I like, and I’m not as flexible as I would like to be, and sitting in certain positions isn’t as comfortable as I’d like. So, sexy though I am, I’m going to lose some weight in order to improve my energy, flexibility, and comfort levels.
Third, my endocrinologist found a second thyroid nodule on the cusp of being something they want to “do something about” (probably biopsy, although medication is also on the table). There might be a 5% chance of cancer. I’ve had cancer, though of a different body part. I have a family history of unusual health issues, including multiple types of cancer on both sides. Cancer is a word that perks up my ears and makes my heart race. I was blindsided the last time I had cancer (2.5 months from “I’m fine” to getting major surgery), so I know how fast these sorts of things can go. 5% is also the approximate chance of my previous cancer returning, but for some reason, this 5% is scarier. My follow up appointment is in 5.5 months. Pretty much the only thing I can do between now and then that might have a chance of affecting anything is eating a diet rich in foods reported to be good at fighting cancer.
So, let’s kill three birds with one stone.
I’ve already done some research. Those of you who are concerned about my getting a reliable source, I used webmd primarily. If you have a better source to which I can have access, please let me know.
I have a list of foods that are good at fighting depression and of foods that are good at preventing or fighting cancer. There are stars next to foods that are good at both. Not surprisingly, most of these foods are also ones that are listed for general healthy eating (by many sources). I figure that I find recipes that are heavy on the starred foods and include plenty of the others as well. This will probably be a radical change for me. I have slipped into eating a lot of take-out and meat-heavy or pre-packaged meals. Changing to an eating plan with lots of fresh fruit, vegetables, and legumes will take some time. Hence the 2 weeks to try things out and also the 3 weeks after that to put the habit into place. It is said it takes 21 days to make or break a habit – hence the 3 weeks.
One of my hopes is that my eating better will improve my energy and help me take care of items 4 and 5.
The question remains – why create a new eating plan? First and foremost, because both my husband and my doctor suggest that I may be depressed. There are many treatments and suggestions for depression (depending on the severity). The at-home with no-professionals treatments include exercise, sunlight, and a change in eating habits. Since part of the reason for going through this 31 week journey is to improve my depression so I do not need to go to therapy, treating it is one of my main concerns.
Secondly, I am currently fatter than I have ever been in my life, and I’m sick of it. My husband thinks I look amazing and very sexy, and I am willing to be persuaded of such. But I’m tired more often than I like, and I’m not as flexible as I would like to be, and sitting in certain positions isn’t as comfortable as I’d like. So, sexy though I am, I’m going to lose some weight in order to improve my energy, flexibility, and comfort levels.
Third, my endocrinologist found a second thyroid nodule on the cusp of being something they want to “do something about” (probably biopsy, although medication is also on the table). There might be a 5% chance of cancer. I’ve had cancer, though of a different body part. I have a family history of unusual health issues, including multiple types of cancer on both sides. Cancer is a word that perks up my ears and makes my heart race. I was blindsided the last time I had cancer (2.5 months from “I’m fine” to getting major surgery), so I know how fast these sorts of things can go. 5% is also the approximate chance of my previous cancer returning, but for some reason, this 5% is scarier. My follow up appointment is in 5.5 months. Pretty much the only thing I can do between now and then that might have a chance of affecting anything is eating a diet rich in foods reported to be good at fighting cancer.
So, let’s kill three birds with one stone.
I’ve already done some research. Those of you who are concerned about my getting a reliable source, I used webmd primarily. If you have a better source to which I can have access, please let me know.
I have a list of foods that are good at fighting depression and of foods that are good at preventing or fighting cancer. There are stars next to foods that are good at both. Not surprisingly, most of these foods are also ones that are listed for general healthy eating (by many sources). I figure that I find recipes that are heavy on the starred foods and include plenty of the others as well. This will probably be a radical change for me. I have slipped into eating a lot of take-out and meat-heavy or pre-packaged meals. Changing to an eating plan with lots of fresh fruit, vegetables, and legumes will take some time. Hence the 2 weeks to try things out and also the 3 weeks after that to put the habit into place. It is said it takes 21 days to make or break a habit – hence the 3 weeks.
One of my hopes is that my eating better will improve my energy and help me take care of items 4 and 5.
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Plan for the first three weeks
Blog post number 2 of this journey. Like I said last time, I’m going to discuss each of the 6 items on the 31 week journey, why they’re on the list, and why that amount of time. Even if my readers don’t care, it clears the cobwebs out of my own head.
Clean up of my previous motivational attempt: I could just drop it. Erase it all from the roleplaying battlemap I had been using as a lined whiteboard and move on. Two reasons I don’t. The goals on this map are important to me, even though most of them aren’t making it into the first 31 week journey. Also, I am working on building my follow through. I have just dropped things in the past, and I’d like to make conscious and considered decisions about dropping things rather than just failing to follow through.
There are 22 squares in a row on the map, so I was using that as a goal. 22 of X, and I would get the prize. I have 168 left to complete by the end of June. Some of which I know I’m not going to do. I followed a tendency I have to add things to my goals that I’m really not interested in doing but feel that I “ought to”, or making it tougher on myself that I need to. Also, looking through the prizes, I see a glaring problem there. Very few of the prizes are actually incentives. Some are luxury items I don’t actually want but seemed like a good idea at the time. Some are practical items that I hadn’t bought because I have a tendency to be stingy with myself. For example, there is no reason not to buy myself new underwear. Well, no, there is a reason, but it’s an incredibly lousy reason. I “should” be doing laundry more often. If I did laundry “often enough”, then I wouldn’t need to own so many pairs of underwear. Right? Wrong. But knowing something’s wrong and shrugging off the ingrained “we’re too poor”/”you’re not good enough” sentiments are two different things. They’re on the same climb to self-worth and emotional and fiscal freedom, but they’re on different rungs on the ladder.
This is very tough to get rid of. Part of me berates me for no follow through on this. Part of me knows that this was mostly cruel to begin with. Part of me believes that if I just find the right routine – right set of steps – right magical macguffin, I would be able to get my life / house / job / finances in order. It’s ingrained in our society. How many different advertisements have the promise of “if you follow my program, I guarantee you will get X”, whatever magical X they are promising this time around? Or what students are told – sit still, pay attention, get good grades, and you’ll do well, and that’s the only program you can use. The medical profession does it. Follow this diet, get an exercise regimen, take these pills at a prescribed time for a prescribed number of days, and you’ll get your health back. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. It’s very tempting to believe that if you do things “right”, then you’ll be protected from the black dragon of Failure. But it doesn’t quite work out that way. Not for me.
I could cobble together a routine. I have a routine now – get up at this time, go to work at that time, meet with these friends on these days, and so on and so forth. I could work out something that includes more of what I want done (clean home, healthier me, room to create, and more), but I can’t do it right now. Or rather, I could, but it’d probably fail within the year. And then I could do it again. And that would be fine. I’ll be a different person in a year. I shouldn’t hold to old routines when new ones make more sense. And I’ve done that in the past. But I can’t do it right now. There are things in my way right now, and that’s part of what this 31 weeks is about.
3 weeks is through the end of June, and that seemed like a nice round amount of time. In this case, 3 is not a magic number (Schoolhouse Rock reference).
I’m going to take this month to clear out some of the past both physically and in my head, leaving me free to focus on the rest of my journey.
Clean up of my previous motivational attempt: I could just drop it. Erase it all from the roleplaying battlemap I had been using as a lined whiteboard and move on. Two reasons I don’t. The goals on this map are important to me, even though most of them aren’t making it into the first 31 week journey. Also, I am working on building my follow through. I have just dropped things in the past, and I’d like to make conscious and considered decisions about dropping things rather than just failing to follow through.
There are 22 squares in a row on the map, so I was using that as a goal. 22 of X, and I would get the prize. I have 168 left to complete by the end of June. Some of which I know I’m not going to do. I followed a tendency I have to add things to my goals that I’m really not interested in doing but feel that I “ought to”, or making it tougher on myself that I need to. Also, looking through the prizes, I see a glaring problem there. Very few of the prizes are actually incentives. Some are luxury items I don’t actually want but seemed like a good idea at the time. Some are practical items that I hadn’t bought because I have a tendency to be stingy with myself. For example, there is no reason not to buy myself new underwear. Well, no, there is a reason, but it’s an incredibly lousy reason. I “should” be doing laundry more often. If I did laundry “often enough”, then I wouldn’t need to own so many pairs of underwear. Right? Wrong. But knowing something’s wrong and shrugging off the ingrained “we’re too poor”/”you’re not good enough” sentiments are two different things. They’re on the same climb to self-worth and emotional and fiscal freedom, but they’re on different rungs on the ladder.
This is very tough to get rid of. Part of me berates me for no follow through on this. Part of me knows that this was mostly cruel to begin with. Part of me believes that if I just find the right routine – right set of steps – right magical macguffin, I would be able to get my life / house / job / finances in order. It’s ingrained in our society. How many different advertisements have the promise of “if you follow my program, I guarantee you will get X”, whatever magical X they are promising this time around? Or what students are told – sit still, pay attention, get good grades, and you’ll do well, and that’s the only program you can use. The medical profession does it. Follow this diet, get an exercise regimen, take these pills at a prescribed time for a prescribed number of days, and you’ll get your health back. Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. It’s very tempting to believe that if you do things “right”, then you’ll be protected from the black dragon of Failure. But it doesn’t quite work out that way. Not for me.
I could cobble together a routine. I have a routine now – get up at this time, go to work at that time, meet with these friends on these days, and so on and so forth. I could work out something that includes more of what I want done (clean home, healthier me, room to create, and more), but I can’t do it right now. Or rather, I could, but it’d probably fail within the year. And then I could do it again. And that would be fine. I’ll be a different person in a year. I shouldn’t hold to old routines when new ones make more sense. And I’ve done that in the past. But I can’t do it right now. There are things in my way right now, and that’s part of what this 31 weeks is about.
3 weeks is through the end of June, and that seemed like a nice round amount of time. In this case, 3 is not a magic number (Schoolhouse Rock reference).
I’m going to take this month to clear out some of the past both physically and in my head, leaving me free to focus on the rest of my journey.
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Blog entry the first
Sunday, June 9, 2013, began a 31-week journey for me of self-discovery, creativity, and productivity. I’m keeping this blog as part journal, part fishing for compliments, but mostly accountability. I’ve tried a lot of different means of motivating myself – rewards, punishments, deadlines. Very little of it works at all, and the rest pretty much works once or twice before the shine wears off. But, two of the suggestions for goals and how to reach them are: write them down and tell someone else. So, I’m writing them down in this blog, and I’m telling the world. Or at least as much of it as reads this blog.
So, let’s get started, shall we? Here’s how the 31 weeks are going to break down.
Why Sunday, June 9? I figured out my last motivational attempt wasn’t working and I needed something else. I also was depressed and promised my husband (wonderful man that he is) that I would seek treatment (despite the financial cost and toll to my pride) in 6 months if I didn’t get things turned around. I gave myself 2 weeks to figure things out, and 2 weeks from that time was June 9.
Why 31 weeks? Because that’s what it added up to.
31 weeks is more than 6 months. (Not a question, but a statement that implies the request for a response.) True, but my husband agreed it was a good plan, and he was fine with 31 weeks instead of 6 months.
Why those things? In future articles, I’ll talk about what I’m not doing in this 31 week plan. There are a lot of things I could have chosen. I’m sure that some of my friends who have heard me complaining the past few months could think of one thing in particular that is missing from this plan. But I can’t do it all, and I can’t do it all at once. Things need to take their turn. These 5 items are first.
In my next post, I’ll talk about each of the items (including #6) and why they’re on this journey.
I invite my readers to comment, question, cajole, compliment, complain, and so forth. Responses are not promised, but the likelihood is greater than 0%.
So, let’s get started, shall we? Here’s how the 31 weeks are going to break down.
- Clean up of my previous motivational attempt – 3 weeks.
- Create a new eating plan – 2 weeks.
- Establish the new eating plan – 3 weeks.
- Use the 10 week course in Willpower Instinct – 10 weeks.
- Use the 12 week course in The Artist’s Way – 12 weeks.
- Evaluate and review – 1 week.
Why Sunday, June 9? I figured out my last motivational attempt wasn’t working and I needed something else. I also was depressed and promised my husband (wonderful man that he is) that I would seek treatment (despite the financial cost and toll to my pride) in 6 months if I didn’t get things turned around. I gave myself 2 weeks to figure things out, and 2 weeks from that time was June 9.
Why 31 weeks? Because that’s what it added up to.
31 weeks is more than 6 months. (Not a question, but a statement that implies the request for a response.) True, but my husband agreed it was a good plan, and he was fine with 31 weeks instead of 6 months.
Why those things? In future articles, I’ll talk about what I’m not doing in this 31 week plan. There are a lot of things I could have chosen. I’m sure that some of my friends who have heard me complaining the past few months could think of one thing in particular that is missing from this plan. But I can’t do it all, and I can’t do it all at once. Things need to take their turn. These 5 items are first.
In my next post, I’ll talk about each of the items (including #6) and why they’re on this journey.
I invite my readers to comment, question, cajole, compliment, complain, and so forth. Responses are not promised, but the likelihood is greater than 0%.
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